The other half

For a long time now, I've been meaning to write a post about someone very special to me. Everytime I had a chance to write, it seemed I was not in a good frame of mind or something was bothering me. Although I'm not in the best frame of mind at the moment, I want to write and pay tribute to the man I love. I'll try to keep this as painless and gush-free as possible.

Ron and I have been dating for a year last Monday. We officially met through a mutual friend, his ex-roommate, on this friend's birthday. I went to their apartment on a day in June, wearing too much eye makeup (as usual) and an odd outfit for the beginning of summer: yoga pants and a sweatshirt. I was trying to hide the extra pounds that were along for the ride last year. My friend Rachel and I got there, drank a couple of beers and were planning on leaving before they went bar hopping, considering Rachel's underage status. But then the other girls left with unfulfilled promises to return and we decided to try Rachel's luck at the first bar. Luckily she got in and the good luck continued for the next couple of places. Throughout the night Ron was nice to me, yet still teased me (which would go without saying if you knew him) and even kept me from the stupidity of getting a fraternity tattoo on an unmentionable part of my body. We ended up at a bar a few blocks from their apartment in the city-like section of Montclair and this is the make-it-or-break-it part of the story. While at this bar, I was proposed to by our friend TJ as he fell on the floor drunk before taking up residence at the bar and talking to another friend about his failed relationship with one of my sorority sisters. All of a sudden, one of TJ and Ron's friends' fiance (you following me, here?) told me, in no uncertain times, to be quieter. Ha. Hahaha. Yes, well, you can only imagine how my drunk self, who was not yelling, screaming, hollering or any variation of the word, took this bit of constructive criticism. In the end, Ron, Rachel, and I were left with a drunken TJ while everyone left with the fiance who tried to fight me (YEAH!). It was on that walk back to the apartment that I felt a connection and feelings for Ron. It's a rarity that a drunken girl can talk to a guy without him trying to get in her pants, but there was none of that here. Instead, Ron both agreed and disagreed with my side of the story, producing an easy conversation while not falling all over me or disregarding me completely. It astounded me and clearly got my attention as one season of True Blood later, we were seriously dating, and in just a year have gone from complete strangers to roommates.

Ron is more than just a boyfriend to me. He's the one I go to when I'm upset, or when I get so stressed or frazzled that I can't breathe. He's the one who tries to help when my dad lets me down again or my sister is being a bitch. He's my safety net for all things emotional and physical. He spends a lot of brain power thinking of ways to make me happy, things I didn't know a guy was capable of thinking up (a welcome mat personalized with our names!). He does all this and more without compromising himself, without giving up his true identity, instead making it clear that while we can be each other's everything, we still have to be our own people with our own lives. This concept was not always clear to me, but it's a lifestyle I've grown to like.

Over the past year, my life has changed in a multitude of ways. I now have a job I like with hours I love. A job that pays more than most of my last jobs and then enables me to actually pay my bills. Speaking of which, I'M ACTUALLY PAYING MY BILLS! He instilled in me a responsibility I'd previously been lacking, without even really trying (I think...). I didn't like to see disapproval in his eyes so I strove to make him proud of me, even if it only meant going to work on time and paying my bills instead of buying a new pair of UGGs. He also gives me confidence. Before my job interview his pep talks not only got rid of my nerves, but enhanced my overall attitude, and when I recently had to fight for my vacation, it was thoughts of his pep talks and his ideas that got me into and through the meeting (which was a success, woo Aruba!). Perhaps best of all, he gave me a family. Where my own life was empty, he filled in a surrogate support team, including himself, his parents, and his sisters, people I've come to love and cherish. I'd rather spend the day with them than at the coolest club, nicest beach, or most posh spa. Their company enriches my life almost as much as Ron's does.

Ron is not just my boyfriend, but my savior. I don't know how I would have made it through this past year without him, something I know he hates that I say. I know I have the strength to do things on my own, and that if I had to, I could. I know this about myself now and I know how deep my pool of strength reaches. I also know that Ron tries to make my life as easy and happy as possible. And I no longer want to imagine it without him. Without being my everything, he is my most important thing, and I'll be forever grateful to have found him, my guardian angel, my best friend, my love

M.E.

I'm...
BLONDE.brunette.RESPONSIBLE.lazy.LOVING.selfish.GENEROUS.helpful.STRONG.fat.
SKINNY.cheerleader.COACH.smart.DUMB.agoodfriend.AGREATGIRLFRIEND.messy.NEAT.
amazing

I like...
EVERYBODY.nobody.INDEPENDENCE.reliance.RINGONOODLESOUP.icedcoffee.
PLAINLOMEIN.jalepenopotatochips.READING.tv.BEINGOUTSIDE.beinginside.PASTA.
pasta.PASTA.margaritas.WINE.mylife

I can...
DOAHANDSTAND.fallonmyface.GETBACKUP.writeagoodpaper.WRITEAGOODPOEM.
giveadvice.DRIVESTICKSHIFT.makechickenparm.MAKEIT

I can't...
COOK.sing.WHISTLE.drivewell.FAIL

I watch...
GILMOREGIRLS.90210.JERSEYLICIOUS.lifeunexpected.GOSSIPGIRL.housewivesofnj.
THEHILLS.celebrityapprentice.DEXTER.24.TRUEBLOOD.entourage.FRIENDS

I live...I breathe...I am...HAPPY

Under the Sea

Lincoln Park, NJ has officially become an underwater town. My apartment complex looked more like a lake than a group of apartments. My garage (and Ron's couch, tv, etc) is filled with four feet of water. In fact, the whole town is basically filled with water, closing streets and ruining houses, cars, etc. Trapped inside yesterday, Ron and I SERIOUSLY cheated on our diets and watched movies all day. I had my first breakfast sandwich in 3 and 1/2 months...yummm :-) We also had corn beef and potatoes (because cabbage? Ew) which followed a Saturday of Pizza Hut and beer. Food of champions, indeed. Even though my weekend probably put about 700 pounds back on, I feel okay. This diet is really making me feel better about myself...both in appearance and physically. I already ever feel nauseous or sick any more! I don't know what's much better than that.

So yes, flooding. One of my new co-workers was talking about how all the rain prescribed for the upcoming weekend was going to wash away the snow and create a flood situation. Being myself, I rolled my eyes and turned away from the conversation, thinking it sounded ridiculous. Ha! Joke's on me! I can't even believe something of this magnitude can happen in northern NJ. This hurricane turned lake seems like something that happens only in places thousands of miles away, somewhere people you know don't call home. It's hard enough to comprehend what's going on in my area, but it's even worse to hear about the people who truly have problems: those who had to be evacuated from their homes and have watched their possessions float along in their wake. It makes tragedy seem all the more real when it's literally in your backyard. I'm thankful for all that I have: my boyfriend's wonderful family who are letting me stay in their home (like I don't normally?) until my heat is turned back on. I'm thankful for my new job and the contentment it provides me. I'm especially thankful for Ron, who is not only just there for me, but is usually a few steps ahead of me...already providing what I didn't even know I needed. And I'm beyond happy about the growing I've done in myself this past year. I feel like I've come full circle, much of which is thanks to learning from Ron. He's a pretty good role model. I'm happy I'm making it on my own, living in my own apartment and actually paying bills instead of just "filing" it (if filing means shoving it in your junk drawer only to find it months later, then yes filing). I'm just happy to be happy!

Life Thus Far

So I've decided to refocus my writing and actually...write. Haha.

My life has changed a lot since my last post...all good things, too! I became an aunt. My sister's son, Kyle, is the cutest little boy. I wish she lived closer so I could see him more.

The guy friend of mine who I went to the pig roast with? He's soon to be my live-in-boyfriend, and I literally couldn't be happier. We're furniture shopping and saving up for an Italian greyhound puppy we plan to name Dillinger.

The only sore spot in my life is my car situation...I don't have mine! It broke down in October because I didn't like to change the oil and now it needs a new engine. Unfortunately, I lack the $2300 to fix it. Hopefully, my tax return will help make a dent in that. I'm lucky that I have help from Ron, who gives up his Mazda every day so I can get to work at my new job! Yay no more retail!

I love my new job. I'm an administrative assistant at a cosmetology school and I love all the people I work with. I have set hours, more pay, and an actual feeling of accomplishment. It makes me want to be a teacher so much more! Speaking of which, I plan to get a part time job, either in makeup or at a restaurant so I can save money to go back to school and get my teaching degree. Ron got a part time job! He's going to be a server at a local pub...woo, free food! Haha...I'm so happy life is going well, and I'm so excited to see how it progresses.

Now that my life is caught up, I'll try to stay caught up and keep writing regularly...just don't hold me to it :-)